CHAPTER THREE - Getting Serious
After a while, you may find yourself concentrating on one or two areas from your search list. This
is the first indication that you're getting serious. The next indication is when the paraphernalia begins
to collect around the house.
For some reason, getting serious seems tied to equipment. The more involved you become with an
interest, the more things pile up. What started out as a passing interest in baseball became: and an old fielder's glove missing one finger, three handmade autographed gloves, three types of glove oil, four
bats, six balls, two hats, a three foot high pile of practice clothes, and a hidden stash of extra special
gear that's not even out of the box. In the mean time, the grass gets too long and the car doesn't get
washed. This is getting serious.
Getting serious isn't limited to sports, and with the recent technology explosion, another "high
tech" scene paints itself. Getting "computer serious" is well on its way when you begin reading the fine
print in the computer ads. It's all downhill after that. You watch the endless comparisons of
benchmarks, operating systems, and software until you're an arm chair computer expert.
Then trouble hits: "It's on sale." The computer becomes irresistible, and almost overnight your house
is overrun by flopping discs, and you spend hours poring over instructions that a month ago you would have found too boring to wrap the garbage with. This IS getting serious.
Rather than just being a period you can look back on and laugh at, the getting-serious period
fulfills a real purpose. Its enthusiasm helps you take in enormous amounts of information in a very short
period of time. Without this burst of enthusiasm you just won't have put in the twenty hours it took to
unravel the program, or the three days of reconditioning your "new" bike required.
In addition, you may find that becoming serious is quite pleasurable. It seems to awaken a
mysterious force that entices you to deeds you just wouldn't consider before. It can add a sense of
adventure to getting up at the crack of dawn for training, or make a strenuous workout actually satisfying.
When you begin to get serious, you'll be amazed at your endless desire for information. You may search
through old boxes at the local flea markets or endlessly examine equipment you didn't even recognize a short
time ago.
These urges are healthy. Feel free to follow them and be serious about your new focus - even if it
means putting off other activities or spending a bit more money than might be sensible. This extra
attention is easily justified, because it can speed your progress and make it possible for you to do advanced work much sooner than could otherwise be expected.
Contacts have a way of surfacing at this time. Part of the reason is that getting serious has an
effect on the tongue. You'll be able to talk endlessly about your new interest to anyone polite enough to
listen, and eventually you hit someone else with a similar lean.
The bond of a common interest sometimes seems thicker than blood, and the length of time two people
can talk about the most minor details is amazing. If your mate ever meets someone at a party with a similar
computer, or sport car, or workout schedule, consider them lost for the evening. Getting serious can start
lifelong friendships, which may be more lasting than the traditional vow based connections.
Also, getting serious can surface potential difficulties before they become real problems. For
example, if you really don't like flying, it's better to find out before you buy part interest in a plane.
Your dislike would surface early if you let yourself get serious and study the manuals, learn the mechanics,
and take the lessons. Finding out what you don't like is as big a step as finding out what you do like.
THE PEOPLE
Getting serious has a personality dimension. As you make contacts and increase your
exposure in this new field, the human aspects surface.
This early attraction to people with similar interests
serves as a personality compatibility check - both of your own ability to handle the advanced rigors of
your undertaking, and of your ability to interact with the particular brand of people drawn to this area.
Your reactions to them will be a good indication of how well you will get along when you perform together.
A good personality match, though not absolutely necessary, sure can make things go more smoothly.
If your new business partner, for example, thinks that accounting means keeping a shoe box of the big
receipts - even after you explain accounting is your specialty and certain procedures are important - you
may have a problem. If your highly competitive soccer team takes on a player who doesn't like playing
hard and only joined to get out of the house, you could have a personality conflict.
Sometimes it's a matter of trying all the chess players at the park until you learn which ones offer
you the most enjoyable competition. Your "getting serious" phase is a good time to check out the people
match-ups you might be stuck with for a long time.
In addition, there are some activities where it is critical that the sport or venture matches your
ability and style. For example, if you like to do things spontaneously, the precision and preparation
required for technical mountain climbing may make it a poor choice for you. If you like a calm, restful
outing, trout fishing may be better for you than the highly competitive industrial softball league. Be
realistic about your style and look for well matched opportunities.
REALITY CHECK
In a manner similar to the personality check, the action steps combine with getting serious to
provide a safeguard against getting caught up in illusions. An illusion is when the idea of something
appeals to you, but, in reality, you don't like anything about it. It's like the guy who saved for years
to buy a top-of-the-line motorcycle because he pictured himself as an open road type. When he finally got
the bike he found he felt too exposed on the road and didn't like sitting in that position for very long.
The years of saving and planning could have been spent on a more fitting interest if he had taken some
action related to riding earlier.
Action is the element that breaks illusion into concrete terms. Whenever you're tempted to build a
fantasy, take some action on it when the first opportunity arises. Bring it into contact with reality and
see what your reactions are. If you like what happens, you've gained a head start; if you don't like the
results, you'll have saved yourself a good deal of time and energy.
Your exploratory actions can be very simple. If you want to be a doctor, pick up a biology book and
see if it intrigues you. If you want to be a track star, do ten pushups, or go for a run down the street.
If you dislike exercise and training, you would do better to look elsewhere. These are the issues you
need to surface early, when you have little invested and can still make adjustments. Even if you are
determined to continue in spite of conflicting feelings, you will have a
realistic view of your limits and a clear guide to the issues you will need to deal with.
The thing about action is that it relates only to you, whereas illusions often are conjured up by
someone else. No matter how noble someone else's ideals are, you will have more impact if you nurture and
follow your own special talents.
If you begin to realize that one particular field is not for you - and this is to be expected if the
filtering process is working - drop your involvement with that field and go back to making lists and making
choices. No recriminations, just drop that area and start again. In the long run, you will save yourself a
great deal of time and energy. More importantly, it will allow you to get back on the track of an area
that's right for you.
COMMITMENT
At some point, your sense of seriousness can solidify into the next critical step, making a
commitment. Commitment means you are willing to take the steps necessary to be successful, whatever they
may be. This attitude provides the strength for taking those extra laps or doing extensive background
research for the finance project.
Commitment helps you get up for workouts on those cold winter mornings, or put in the long weekend at
the library. A strong commitment helps you take care of the endless little details which are essential to
perfecting a performance. Without this commitment, it's just not possible to do these things for long.
In business, a commitment can make the tedious facts you struggled with while training come alive
with meaning - not only as facts, but as marketable insights. You probably know several people that are
assured of doing well in their field, simply because they put so much into it. This comes from commitment.
This kind of involvement was illustrated when a New York broker missed his ride and walked three
blocks back to a very casual group conversation to explain a point he had overlooked on the market's
fluctuation that day. He was so involved with the topic that missing a ride was of little concern. Not
that the information helped anyone in the group which as a whole was disinterested - but the enthusiasm
literally bubbled from this man. His commitment propelled him to make that extra bit of effort, gladly.
Other things equal, it is this type of involvement that is the key element in winning and success.
With genuine commitment, the pain of struggle is replaced by the drive of excitement. As commitment
comes out of pure, careful exploration of interests, and is nurtured by freely chosen action, it becomes a
life force. If you don't sense this force in your work - or your play - you may have gotten
sidetracked, and need to return to the basic search practices.
It's impossible to force this type of commitment, and if you are pushed into an area where
you don't want to be, you will accomplish less that you are capable of, and pick up a good deal of
frustration and resentment along the way. The most unfortunate part of trying to force commitment is not the frustration, but that you end up putting your energy into a focus that is not naturally yours. For this
reason try to direct you efforts as purely as possible. Only with genuine commitment can your true
talents be realized.
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Finding Your Groove