Finding Your Groove

CHAPTER TWO - The Searching Phase

The goal of the search phase is to uncover the areas where your talents and enthusiasm can surface. The process involves narrowing your choices, taking action, and making adjustments.

LIST OF SIX

The first searching step is to make a list of six activities that you are genuinely interested in. It's important that you try to list close to six activities for several reasons. First of all, the limit of six areas keeps you within the number of categories possible to recall at any given time.(1) If you have too many things to consider you simply can't keep them in your immediate memory.

EXAMPLE:

Just by having these nine categories floating in her head, Ellen was exceeding her limit, and it's not surprising that she was confused. If your original list of interests comes to more than six items, you need to combine them into fewer categories. All the elements are still there, it's just that you've grouped them differently. It would be like combining swimming, diving and surfing into the single category of water sports.

Ellen found it easy to group her interests - most of the complicated ones seemed to be related in some way. Her grouping resulted in five categories: business, study of the body, skiing, writing and relationships. Now she could at least think of them without getting confused.

If you have less than six items on your list try to add some and bring the number up to six. These extra choices add an element of contrast to your other interests which helps accent the ones most important to you. When you only have one thing on your list, it's possible to forget how special that activity is. When there is a comparison and choice however, even if it is somewhat artificial, the uniqueness and excitement connected with your interest becomes apparent. For example, you may not really like history that much, but by including it on your list, you remind yourself how much you really like marketing. These added categories also provide a path for organized retreat when you need a change. On days when you need to get away from it all, you can use your other choices as an escape and still remain focused.

At the same time it gives you a flexibility to respond to changes in your daily situation and mood. By adjusting to your natural fluctuations and shifts in concentration, you prevent burnout and overload.(2)

It's possible that six categories may be too many. The extra items allow room for you to acknowledge goals that come from your culture or parents, in addition to the interests that are strictly personal. By including categories which your parents would like to have you pursue, you can relieve some of the pressure. Even if you don't become the world's leading pianist, or doctor, at least it's on your list. This helps to fulfill a part of your obligation and makes it possible to explore freely your other talents.

Even in the beginning, the effects of listing your interests can be significant. What previously had been indecision and confusion becomes six items - a much more manageable piece of the world. Simply listing the choices gives you better focus and greater control. It doesn't matter what your particular choices are, the important thing is that you have specific options and they are within manageable limits. Where you may have been floating, you are now grounded.

TAKING ACTION

The next step is to scan your list each day for an item that catches your interest, and take action related to it, however small it may be.

As you scan your list each day, stay open to taking small steps. These are the ones get you going -- they get you in motion. For that reason, no step is ever too small, even getting the paper out to make the list counts. Small steps transform plans into completed projects.

Some examples might help illustrate this:

INTEREST: ----- SMALLEST STEP

• Health: Take some vitamin C in the morning.
• Chess: Set up the board.
• Gardening: List the seeds needed for spring.
• Running: Put on your shoes and stretch.
• Business: Pick up the "Wall Street Journal."
• Football: Design a weight training program; do five pushups.
• Soccer: Make a target area on the garage.
• Music: Get the flute out of the closet.

Figure 2. Action: taking the smallest steps.

The best thing about small steps is that they keep the actions simple and enticing. This is especially important because action brings your dreams into contact with the world. Action changes dreams into reality. Unless there is action, your interests will continue to be dreams. Dreams are satisfying in their own way, but they don't have the concrete rewards that action brings.

Some dreams, however, just don't fit well into reality, or it may be they simply don't fit you well. This is where the action element is especially useful. It filters out the dreams that aren't for you, and leads you to the ones that fit.

You can check the fit by letting the action be the gauge of what is best for you. If you almost never select a certain area from your daily choices, never take the smallest action in that direction, chances are that area isn't for you. If you want to be an artist, but spend all your time in the garden, your reality may be in botany. If you want to be an accountant, but don't like figures and spend all your time remodeling, your talents may be in carpentry. Take serious note of your actions.

Another principle of the search phase is that it's important to follow your inclinations, with no strings attached. Only by selecting an area that truly interests you will you acquire the enthusiasm needed to do really well. The best measure of what fits you are the things you do willingly. To "sort of" like doing something is just not enough if you really want to excel in that area.

Give yourself free rein to do exactly what you wish from among your six choices. If one area always gets picked, fine; go with that one. If some of the areas never get picked, be aware of this and consider removing them from your primary list. The ones you didn't select may have come from someone else's expectations for you, and may not reflect your desires. When examining your old selections you needn't be concerned with the source, only that the particular choice isn't for you.

Monitor your actions and feel free to substitute new inclinations for those you aren't really connected to.

Keeping track of your actions should point to your natural inclinations and the actions you take when you have a free choice should point to major life themes. A look back on a week of your selections should show some patterns, whether you have an acknowledged focus or not. No matter how much lip service you have given to a role or interest, if you don't take any action on it, it shouldn't be a major focus.

In a similar vein, be careful not to place all your attention on past aspirations or even on things you are quite good at. Stay open for new focuses to bubble up. Activities of the past aren't necessarily the waves of the future.

When you do hit one, your true focus will draw you like a magnet. You'll jump into action at the slightest hint of an opportunity to pursue your interest. Unfortunately, even the best situations are seldom without some turmoil. If you find yourself moving away from areas which had been your source of social life and self-worth, you may experience some hesitation. That's perfectly natural, and you might expect a period of confusion. Eventually, the fact that you are genuinely searching will be a more powerful attraction than being safe in a delusion. Any point on a path to excellence should be more pleasurable than a comfortable, crowded rut.

Be easy on yourself in the beginning and try to appreciate the steps you take, however small they may be. Try to embrace the new, the different, for this is how you explore and expand. If you find yourself putting time in an uncharacteristic area, go with that. Rest assured that you are doing the right thing because freely chosen action is the great equalizer; it cuts through distorted expectations and empty illusions like butter.

Freely chosen action is the guide to your hidden energy and strength. When you catch a glimmer of it, follow it with action.

EXAMPLE:

HANDLING OBLIGATIONS

A common stumbling block to following your inclinations is the lack of time because of other commitments. Again, the specific nature of action offers a solution.

All actions, because they involve movements of the body, are similar. Reaching for a brush is the same as reaching for a glove. Even actions with unrelated functions are similar.

Because all actions are similar, they can often be substituted for each other by simply making a mental shift. For example, if you wish to practice reaching, you can use reaching for a brush or a glove in the same way you would isolate a movement and practice it in the gym. The ability to translate activities makes it possible to mentally shape actions you need to take into actions you want to take. Being able to change the meaning of your action allows you to translate an unwanted action, like a job obligation, into a part of your interest. If you want to be a gymnast or dancer, but you have to scrub floors in order to survive, you should be able to translate the activity of scrubbing floors into part of your workout.

This shift is often overlooked and a great many opportunities for practice are missed. It's sometimes amazing how athletes and performers can spend exhausting hours under someone's tutelage, yet find it difficult to do menial physical tasks, even though the acts are often similar and could be easily translated into practice time. Taking out the garbage can be an exercise in balance; painting the house can be an upper back workout.

Almost any motion can be changed this way. The translation may not be obvious at first for some of the more confined occupations, but a little creativity can do wonders. Moreover, this mental shift can make your required work less stressful, and the most mundane tasks become exciting if you can sense them contributing to your development.

EXAMPLE:

The following chart is a sketch of some examples:

The key here is not to make more time for your activity, but to translate what you already do - the things you're obligated to do - into an activity that will enhance your goals. It's a way to survive while following you own unique course.

Another system for handling obligation is to fit pieces of your workout or study into your daily routine. Fifteen minutes or half an hour should not detract from your ongoing duties, but it is enough to get you on your natural path.

Over time, you should be able to gradually reduce the energy expended on other areas and shift to your new interest areas. As you put more energy into your interest, opportunities arise, and you can respond accordingly.

Working your interests into your obligations does take more time than if you were able to concentrate on them alone, but it gets you on the right track, and sometimes the gradual nature of this process works to your advantage. The extra time gives the filtering process a chance to work, and you may be able to eliminate some areas before you make large investments of time and money.

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Notes:

1. The actual limit is seven, but six was chosen to allow a slight margin of freedom. G. A. Miller, "The Magic Number Seven, plus or minus two. Some limits on our capacity for processing information-" Psychological Review, 1956, 63, 81-96.

2. Making the best decisions requires three or fewer categories, but six is sufficient for making a simple selection. If the six categories seem like too many, it may be you're in a decision mode and need to reduce the groups to three.